Touching, adjusting.. "May I..?"

Touching is fine, as long as you're courteous and respectful.

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To photographers:

I take direction amazingly, and I'm great at posing myself.. but even I need help sometimes. If I'm holding a pose, adjust my hair, outfit, body parts etc. as need be.. just be polite about it.

If you aren't sure if it's alright, ask "May I adjust...(insert whatever needs adjusting).. for you quickly?"

When moving a body part, please make sure it's not a load bearing point.. I've had people yank my leg out from under me and cause injury and bruising because they weren't paying attention enough to realize my entire body weight was on that foot at the time.

And please be gentle when moving body parts. Yanking my chin around, pulling my arm almost out of socket into a position that the joint isn't designed to go into, etc, can cause issues. If you more me quickly and gently, then if there's an issue with the pose, it can be figured out before it causes injury.

If adjusting clothing or hair, be quick and professional. Clothing shifts, we all know this. If you aren't comfortable doing it yourself, ask the MUA, hair person, etc. to do it for you, if you aren't wanting the model to shift out of position.

If the model isn't comfortable with your conduct or communication, and you know this, ask why. You can't get answers to questions if you don't ask. If you can't make it work, then end the shoot.

In general, as long as you're efficient, polite, and communicate your intention, there's rarely an issue.

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To the models:

You're a model. At some point while you're doing this, you need to accept the fact that you generally have no personal space while shooting. You may have limits as to what manner you may be adjust or squooshed or squeezed or prodded, etc.. but for the most part, get the hell over it.

I've had people with an arm up to their shoulder up a latex skirt to adjust it. I've had my boobs squooshed, squished, fluffed, shifted, etc. I've had my bikini/underwear shifted, lifted, pulled, etc. so that I could maintain a pose the photographer wanted.

I've been shifted like a mannequin into position, shifted myself into position, had my arm, leg, hand, head, etc. shifted for me.

Some people communicate differently. I work with a lot of inexperienced photographers, and many of them aren't really sure how to give direction verbally, so when I'm having trouble understanding what they would like verbally, I ask them to shift me into what they had in mind, or tell them I'm comfortable with them doing so at any point in time, as long as they conduct themselves in a polite, professional manner.

There is a difference between a good touch and a bad touch, but you, as models, need to realize that sometimes, you WILL need to be touched, adjusted, squeezed, squooshed, etc. If you aren't comfortable enough with the photographer, MUA, stylists, or whoever need be touching you, then you shouldn't be working with those people in the first place. Get up, get your things, and walk out the door.

In my 500 +/- shoots in the last 3 years, I've never had an issue with being "touched" in a non-comfortable manner that wasn't a result of poor communication, and if the communication wasn't working, the shoot ended.

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Listen to each other, talk to each other, learn from each other. You can't learn to improve your posing or direction to suite the individual shoot needs if you're scared to death of offending the other person(s).

Photographers, if you have trouble giving verbal cues, or the model isn't taking direction well, then TELL them so. Politely. Explain the issue you're having, and ask if you may gently & quickly adjust what is needed.

Models, get the fuck over it. Really. If you aren't comfortable with something, say so, politely. Explain the issue you're having, and figure out how to resolve it. Half the posing, skill, and knowledge I have as a model, I learned from communicating with the people around me at the shoot, and allowing myself to be worked into a position or such as needed. Sometimes it's things you never noticed, and being made aware of it as an issue can improve your skill and talent as a model.

Where Are You From?

I used to think that about the most annoying possible answer to that question was "All over." Really now, nearly everybody has some sort of a home base. Be it where their family is or where they last lived, you have to have somewhere that you're from.

Oh, how times change. It's a question with which I'm faced fairly frequently, and over the past year, it's become a bear for me to answer. Do I reply "Colorado," where I'm legally a resident, but have only spent about two months of my life? Should I answer "Ohio," which I used as a base of operations for much of last summer? Or what about "Seattle," the last place that I truly feel that I lived? How about telling people "I'm from Indiana," since that's where I was born and raised, and still have family and friends?

Or maybe they intend the question differently. Maybe they're asking where my last stop was. Does that mean I should tell my well-intentioned questioner where I camped along the way the night before, or the last city that I stayed in? Or would it be more appropriate to give an abbreviated replay of where all I've been in the past... week? Month? Three months? Did the trip that took me to Salt Lake City, where I currently am, begin in Wendover UT, San Francisco, Seattle, or Denver? All of them could be legitimate answers.

Do I awkwardly attempt to explain all of that? These days, I just throw my hands up, accept the irony, and tell people, "I'm kind of from all over." It's easier that way, I promise.

From me to you..

I've been shooting full-time, one or two shoots (sometimes more) a day for almost two year now.

There is very little in the way of "art nude" I haven't shot on multiple occasions. I have extensive work in many other genres as well.

From me to you, here's a few things:
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Statement from a model: There were two photographers who started saying negative things to me right off the bat. With one it started via text messages where I apparently didn't express enough excitement? and then every few minutes it was either a story about his crazy sexcapades or "why aren't you having fun." I wasn't having fun, I didn't want to know about his sexcapades or the models he shot with who let him photograph them having sex, and I didn't want to shoot the level or eroticism he did. But, him saying something negative only made me more quiet.
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At some point, you need to make a decision. [i]Is this shoot/money worth more then my personal comfort and/or safety?[/i]

If someone is behaving or discussing things you are not okay with, say so. Politely. "I appreciate that you've had a lot of interesting experiences in your personal life and/or with other models, but I'm not very comfortable with you sharing these with me."

The moment you don't feel that you are in a safe or "okay" enviroment, you need to leave. Period. If you're being pressured to shoot work that you didn't agree to, and "No." isn't sufficient, gather your things, get dressed, and go.

Being a model doesn't mean you have to put up with things you aren't okay with, and being paid doesn't mean you're property. You, as a human being, have the right to exercise your free will. If you don't learn to set your limits and stand by them, you won't last long. Be gentle, firm, polite, and if all else fails.. be on your way out the door.

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Statement from a model: With another guy it was like I get there and my make up is wrong, my hair is wrong, the clothes I picked out (from his collection) aren't right. And then it's like, why aren't you happy? I don't know, maybe you shouldn't just tell me I did a bad job without having a solution.
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Option A: Sometimes, people just aren't suited to work with one another. If you feel that you aren't able to suite the needs of the shoot, concept, etc. .. then bow out gracefully. "I feel that I am not the right model for what it is you're trying to accomplish here, and I would like to suggest we discontinue this shoot, and possibly try again in the future with something that may suite our dynamic better." If they paid you, refund it. If they didn't, part ways.

Option B: Sometimes a photographer gets this.. idea.. in their head of the perfect hair, MU, clothing, etc. and you will simply not be able to match the lovely ideal they've created. Accept it, and do your best to be the best model you can. Next time, just don't work with them again.

A lot of times, one must "grin and bear it". Working with people you don't normally work with, and learning to handle personality types of an abrasive or non-cohesive nature are part of learning to deal with the world. Do your best to be polite, patient, and understanding. If it's beyond your ability to manage the situation, then exit the situation.

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Statement from a model: Unless I really like a photographer I'm not necessarily happy at a shoot. I'm probably too busy concentrating on my pose and my facial expressions and I really can't chat if I want the right expression in a picture. A lot of photographers are kind of like dentists in that respect, how they don't realize you can't talk freely while they take a picture.
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Darlings, if you can't find a way to enjoy what you're doing, then don't do it. I may not be overly joyful during a shoot, but I do very much enjoy my work. I deeply adore the movement, emotions, energy, and art of it.

You don't have to bounce like a baby bunny, but you DO have to be engaging, pleasant, and polite. You CAN actually have an engaging conversation while shooting.. it's actually better to do so. It keeps you relaxed and connected with the person you're working with. Spending every ounce of concentration on your poses, face, etc, will only serve to make you appear stiff, tense, and disconnected with your work.

And honestly, you're new. You've barely begun to work with people, and the world doesn't revolve around modeling. If you're not enjoying the people you're working with THAT much, find new people.

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Statement from a model: Being entertaining doesn't mean you're having fun. I'm entertaining a lot of the time when I'm bitter and in a shitty mood. And sometimes I'm really happy and quiet as a mouse. Feeling an emotion and expressing an emotion are very, very different.

when I said "sometimes it's just a job" I mean, sometimes I'm just okay about the photographer/the concept/whatever rather than thinking it's super cool and wanting to capture the perfect shot. I always give it my all, unless I feel unwell for some reason, or a photographer like the one I mentioned keeps putting me down.
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No, you don't have to have fun to be entertaining. You do, however, need to be engaged in what you're doing and who you're talking to. Entertaining someone generally requires being able to connect with the person(s) you're addressing.

Learn to express what you don't feel, and to feel what you can't express. Like it or not, being a model isn't just "stand and look pretty", especially as a freelance model. You are also having to network, market, engage, create, and dissimulate. You need to be your own worst critic and your own biggest fan.

Whether or not ANYONE ELSE in the room thinks you're beautiful, talented, vivacious, creative, or amazing... YOU need to think you are. By modeling, you are placing yourself at the mercy of someone else's heart, mind, and imagination. You're taking the risk of being put on a pedestal you may not be able to balance on, and you need to be able to take the good with the bad, filter it for the useful information, and continue on learning, growing, and developing as a person and model.

Creating beautiful images isn't a one person pushing the button job. It's an everyone in the room job, and it is VERY much your job. If you can't love, hate, live, and learn from the good and bad parts of your job, then find a new job.

Seven Point Five Weeks, Eleven Hours

Those numbers are how long I've been on the road, and how long I slept last night. Respectively, of course. It was a highly enjoyable journey, all in all. The highlights, encapsulated as data points:

Six beds, five couches, three mats on the floor, one hotel room, and one very snug thermarest in the hatch of my car.

Fifteen shoots, one drawing session, and one painting class. Six cancellations, two of which were last-minute.

Three national parks, two national monuments, and many more national forests.

Thirty six stupid camera phone pictures of Jitterbug, my four-legged travel companion.

One oil change, zero flats.

For the next month, my travels will be limited to the stretch of I-5 between Olympia and Seattle, Washington. I'm staying with a dear friend in a trailer in the woods in Oly. I must say, I'm looking forward to spending a non-nomadic month here, re-energizing myself, and planning out details of my next stint on the road.

There are days..

Ya, I've almost throttled my share of people.

I have to purposely schedule days of nothing at all so that I can give my body recovery time. I've no internal clock left, no regular sleep/eat schedule.

I've had more then one photographer try to pull that "I do more work & invest more time/money then you do" crap. They usually realize how much of an asshole they are when I then sit down, and show them exactly what it is I have to do every day for me to make all this work.

There are days though.. when it gets overwhelming. Days when I'm commuting for 10-12 hours, when my spine feels like it's tearing away from my body, when I'm exhausted and starving, but can't really sleep because I can't fit comfortably enough in a full plane & can't bring myself to eat much because then I feel sick to my stomach when flying. Days when I've been shooting once, twice, three times a day for the last week, and then dealing with someone calling and throwing a fit because they don't understand why I can't fit them in my schedule this trip.

But then you have those days where it's worth it.. where you know this is who you are and what you should be doing. When you meet photographers who you click so well with that the shoot rolls like water in the sea. When a 4, 6, 8 hour gig leaves you feeling wonderful and amazing and beautiful, when you're energized and excited about the work you just did. When you get to meet those other people who make you laugh so hard your ribs ache, smile so much your face hurts.. those people who can completely relax you simply with their presence, who make you feel happy and safe and comfortable. When you get to visit new places that catch you off guard.. a glimpse of a sunset over a hill, the water breaking on a dock.. the odd musical quality of traffic in a major city, or the soft whispers of rain in a forest.

I love it. With utterly every fiber of my being, with every twinge of my soul. It's who I am, what I am.. it's what makes me tick, makes me breath. It's my passion, my heart, my blood. It's the music in my mind, the twinkle in my eye, and the dance in my step.

I hate it also. With a fiery burning passion sometimes. But that burning, that aching, that horrible frustration and exhaustion.. it what makes the loving, beautiful days so much more so.

And I'm so glad for it.

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Shiva Love's (http://www.modelmayhem.com/369429) addition:

In order to do this, I've made it not into 'work,' but into a lifestyle. I've sacrificed my ability to have a 'normal' existence, since the things I've experienced modeling, and the lifestyle it's created for me, has put me far outside the mainstream. I have surrender my ability to fit with most groups of people, even if they're in my age group and socioeconomic class. I have sacrificed my ability to ever be a public school teacher, a public servant, a politician. I have given up my right to a certain type of ownership of my own body - since many people now own many pieces of me. I fully accept that, at any point in my life, I could be the subject of negative criticism and public ridicule. Every day, I am stereotyped in different ways. I could be asked to leave my neighborhood, place of worship, or resign from my job.

In exchange for those sacrifices, I have gained a sense of personal accomplishment, independence, a notion of what makes life worth living. I have tangible proof of the beauty one life can create. I have rejected those old taboos and fears about my sexuality. I have encouraged, though my work, other women to do the same. I have learned to understand and care for my body as a resource and a point of pride. I have learned to care for my mind as a creative tool. I respect what I have, as an individual, to give to the world. I have looked at the world, and seen how I could recreate it in a unique way.

No one can convince me that I don't invest a lot...

Skip the Interstates

It's embarrassing that I need to be reminded of this, but I do. Unless it is my goal to get from Point A to Point B in the least amount of time (in which case interstates are the clear winner), they are best avoided. Stay on the interstate and you find occasional scenic views, but mostly the same fast food joints and gas stations regardless of where you are. An overabundance of these interstate staples does not a good road trip make.

Venture away from I-XX, and you begin finding the good stuff. The little charismatic towns, the jaw-dropping scenery, and the narrow, windy roads that are just damn fun to drive. I was reminded of this again today by my host in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was leaving his place for Albuquerque. I'd been planning on taking the easy, obvious route of I-25. He suggested I take NM-14.

The drive was gorgeous, and routed me through Madrid, a town that my host had characterized as "a mining town that was bought by hippies." So far as I can tell, it's a pretty apt description. I paused at a local restaurant for a delightfully tasty and satisfying salad, then proceeded on my way. One could point out that taking the state road put me a few miles and a few minutes out of my way, but that begs the question of exactly what my way was.

To be sure, there are times when I really do just want to get to my destination as quickly as possible. I do not want to be all warm and fuzzy and exploratory. I just want to get there. But other times, the destination is secondary, if it's even known at all. It's the time between Point A and Point B.. Point C... Point D... that matters. Over the next few months, I'll be making my meandering way through the southwest and up the west coast. I know approximately where I'll be when, but still have a fair bit of flexibility. I've also made a point of blocking out several days at a time for losing myself in the desert.

The only way for me to do that is to get off the interstates, and so that is what I'll do. So here's to the meandering one-lane highways and state roads. I can only guess at what I'll find.

Whatever Tomorrow Brings, I'll Be There!

The more I travel and the more people I meet, the more I understand a quote as simple as my title. There are so many people from so many places who if they called and said I need you now, I'd be there. We're not super close, we don't talk every day, but they're like family now. I think it's something that has come from traveling all the time. I meet these people and I have 7 days or less living with them and getting to know them. I'm so open that I just tell them now. My life seems like some sort of open book.

Sure, there are few things that only a few people know, but I spend the most time with them. Those are the people who could be in outerspace and I'd figure out how to help them. This community is stranger. It's one of the strangest I've seen. SoCal is a scene, but this group is so different. We trust so easily, but befriend only a select few. Those grow to know us better than anyone else. They're the ones you call lonely at 12:30 am and say can you come over, I just want someone to be around. And they come, they get it.

Something about the loneliness of this business and the closeness enthralls me. I love that I have these people. I wouldn't trade it for anything. However, in a way I already pay the price of a strange loneliness

You can also view this on my regular blog http://ayd4a.blogspot.com