Kindred Spirits in an Alien Nation

Sometimes, once in a great while, the energy that comprises me seeks out and is aligned with energy from outside of me.

Words are superfluous.

Maybe through shaving my head I hope to accomplish some sort of anonymity, some sort of escape from what others generally perceive me as. To start anew. To be born again.

Those on my wavelength with persist; those who clash with me will disappear from my immediate train of thought, and I from theirs.

I belong to an Alien Nation.

I no longer believe in coincidence.

I have not known how to word my next post, what to include, what to omit.

Instead, I will pose an open-ended question: What do we fill our lives with, and why?

On the way from Los Angeles to San Francisco recently, I answered a craigslist ad. Since my smartphone is really a dumbphone, I had to handwrite the craigslist encoded email on paper, then hand-enter it into an email on my phone's browser. The person who posted the ad was an amateur sketch artist on the Peninsula, and we worked out that we would not exchange money, but rather I could stay with him for a week or so and I could sit for him when we were both free, and for a group he hosted on the weekend.

I can't describe why I felt compelled to answer this ad, or why he felt so compelled to respond; I had begun to feel like a hired object and needed to come down to earth, I guess was one motivating factor. I can't put words to the kindness he showed; he was respectful of my needs and space, cooked 3 meals a day when I was not working, drove me to the train when I was. He, one of his friends who attended the sketch group, and I had a very long conversation about life, and the things we go through. For some reason, I felt compelled to draw that day; I haven't drawn seriously in years.

The Universe gives us what we need in order to grow; sometimes, we have to go through challenges and what we may view as hardships. If we don't learn our lesson then, the Universe is patient, and the lesson will come in another form later. Our only job is to be ourselves; to really know our wants, desires, and purpose, in order to be a positive part of the world around us. If we do something untrue to ourselves, we surround ourselves with falsities- fake friends, a job we're unhappy with, a lover we don't really love.

This new friend ended up being the first person I saw when I found out my estranged father was diagnosed and in treatment for cancer. He was picking me up to get to another informal sketch group, and I decided that I needed to go. I felt compelled to draw that day.

I have gone through a few emotional breakdowns over the past few days, and a frantic call to my mother, saying I wish I could be there to take care of her, my grandparents, brother, and sister. I feel selfish. removed, and like I'm not a vital member of the family. Luckily, my mother echoed what I had heard a few days before- our only job in life is to be ourselves. I feel like I am on the right route; but, I think it would also be right to modify my life for a few months to be able to be an active member of the family again and still work as a traveling model. I have found a few places in Boston that would be potentially interested in using me as a life model in the Spring and Summer of '11, as well as a few artists in Boston and NYC.

As I type now, I am planning the next few months of traveling, comparing and contrasting Greyhound, Amtrak, and American Airlines. I have a complex system of formulas to deduce which days are best to travel by what mode. But, more importantly, I know where I want to be going. I do not believe I am the best model, the prettiest/ smartest/ whatever. I simply love what I do, know what I have to offer, and know what I want from those around me.

I can't describe how I feel; my father and I have never been close, especially not in the last few years. I had wanted someone that he could never be as a father; he had demonstrated that I was not what he wanted in a daughter. It was easiest to live separate of each other. But what now? The treatments should work, but it is still a shock to realize that we are all human, and only here for a limited time. We should not hold grudges, or do things that displease us just because it is an easier way to live.

In the end, what do we fill our lives with, and why?

A Different Experience

Frequent travel can have its downsides- anything from a sore back from sleeping in your car to missing out on time with family. And while I've certainly had my fair share of restless nights curled up in the hatch of my car, my lifestyle as a traveling model has allowed me to see much more of my family than I did prior.

I've never been good at selecting exceptionally profitable jobs. Before working as an art model, I worked in a low-cost veterinary clinic. Not surprisingly, low-cost clinics don't pay their employees especially well. I lived across the country from my family, and visits were exceptionally rare. Even when family members came to visit, I generally was working at least a few of the days that they were in town. I simply couldn't afford to take that much time off of work- nevermind the prohibitive cost if I wanted to fly out to Indiana to visit them. We used e-mail and phone to stay in touch, but I had relatively little face-time with my family.

A schedule with infinite flexibility and frequent travel changes things. I'm now able to visit my family in Indiana a couple of times a year. My father and I have been able to resume our ongoing Scrabble competition. My mother has gotten to know her granddog, Jitterbug. Were it not for the trajectory my life has taken, I would still only be seeing my next of kin once a year, if even that often.

I'm lucky. I know that. I'm thankful for my time on the road- it keeps things interesting, but it also keeps me close to family.

Family

These are pictures taken at my grandparents' 50th anniversary I was unable to attend:


Family is a very important thing for me. I don't see them enough. I spent two days with my grandparents this past week, which I haven't been able to do since the spring.

My grandmother and I talked about whether I was safe when I was traveling, whether I was enjoying the work I was doing. I said yes, but it comes with a huge cost.

Right now I'm working on getting more established with regular work, so that I can find a home base again, or just afford to spend more time with my family.

You should never live to work; work should enable you to live.

Thoughts for newer models seeking to go full-time.. by ShivaKitty

*Reposted with Permission*

I compiled a list of basic suggestions for models looking to eventually make money from modeling. Some people might find these suggestions offensive, or harsh. It is from my own personal experience, not the law, not the Every(wo)man's-Modeling-Holy-Book by any means. Some of these topics have been discussed to death, and beaten into the ground, but models still ask about them, so I provided input regardless.


Before you even consider starting to model full-time, you should be comfortable with the idea of accepting paid work from people whose images you feel are really pretty horrible, or at least mediocre. Understand that many of the people you shoot with will post unflattering images of you all over the internet, and you will have no right to complain since you were fairly compensated, in cash, after the shoot.

When you first reach a point where you realize you *can* make money from modeling, you will NOT just arbitrarily "set" a rate. When that time comes, you will start being offered certain amounts of money per shoot. Often, the amount you will be offered will seem surprisingly low. It isn't. As you model longer, build a diverse portfolio, and have a list of strong references, you are likely to be offered increased amounts of money. Eventually, you will have more control over the rate at which you work. In the beginning, the people hiring you will control your rate. You gain more control over your rate in accordance with experience level, and reputation.

You cannot assume that every person who contacts you is creepy, or harmful. Understand that you will be shooting with a lot of people whom you probably wouldn't care to socialize with in your daily life. Some folks are unpleasant, stinky, have no social skill, etc. You will be shooting with some of these people, yes. However, if they are not disrespectful to you verbally, and if they do not engage in overt transgressions, you are going to be okay. Most people are good people. Most photographers and artists do treat their models very well, and with respect. Have some trust in the goodness of humankind. You will be pleasantly surprised with what you find.

You should be comfortable setting personal limits, but also be flexible with those limits when you realize you have started outgrowing them --- and yes, many of the things you start off saying "never" to become okay to you, or even fun, after you have been shooting for awhile. Your personal values are likely to change, because modeling full-time will force you to grow in areas of challenge that many people never even encounter, let alone go out and face bravely.

Do not let other people determine when you have outgrown certain limits and boundaries. You will know. You. You. You. You.Will.Know.

Certain things, that modeling full-time kind of forces upon you, will increase your self-esteem, your street smarts, and your personal savvy. An example is travel. I never traveled alone until I started modeling. Now, I do it a lot, and I do it fearlessly. Modeling just changes you. It really, really does. It changes who you are, how you interact with the world around you, how others perceive you. You are either able to go with that natural ebb and flow - grow with it, rather - or not.

People will often try to convince you that you are not worth the rate/trade/compensation you feel your work is worth. Either agree, or move on. You might find out that you're not so great after all, or you might discover that you are -in fact- talented, and great at what you do. Anticipate that your perception of yourself, and your perception of your work's value, will shift as you grow personally from your new experiences.

Be willing to spend a lot of time on the road. In 2009, I was putting an average of 500 miles per week on my car, and I did additional long-distance trips (requiring airplanes). There are ways to travel cheap(er), such as trading shooting hours for airfare, but it can be difficult to wrangle up these jobs. Getting started traveling to shoot tends to happen naturally over time. It is not worth hurrying; when it's time for you to work elsewhere, it will happen.

Time and time again, models you think are uglier, dumber, or less experienced will be selected for jobs, while you will be rejected. You will learn that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, and you are the perfect model - for a DIFFERENT photographer.

You will lose old friends who refuse to support you, but you will gain new friends within the industry, who understand where you are coming from, and care about your goals and development as a creative person.

You will become jaded about some things, because -as with any job- the stress wears on you over time. You will become more open to many, many lovely things that you would have never experienced working in an office, or in doing retail work.

You will likely evolve in a "hustler" of sorts. You learn to negotiate, bargain, weigh options, etc.

You will become very good at managing your ever-changing schedule.

You will need to decide, relatively early in the game, whether you want to keep your modeling life private, or whether you want to "come out" to your family and friends. If you are over 18, and living independently, whatever you choose to do with your body and likeness is your personal business, and yours alone. Just like your personal finances stop being your parents' business once you are working and out of their house, so does the ways in which you choose to use your body. If you choose to share the information, wonderful. If you don't, it's your heart/mind/body, and only you own it.

You will be well-advised to use a stage name - religiously - for any nude, erotic or fetish work. No one should have to tell you that this shit can come back to bite you in the ass when you are 45, and running for mayoral office. Even if you use a stage name, it can still come back to bite. Just keep that in mind.

http://shivakitty.com/
http://www.modelmayhem.com/369429

Tools of the Trade

Let me start off by saying that this is by no means a comprehensive, or universally applicable, list. This is just the list of what I've found to be especially useful in my work as a freelance art model. I bring very little with me to shoots, so I've broadened my scope somewhat. Rachel Jay has written a similarly-themed list here, but hers is geared toward people who model in clothes, and who know how to apply makeup. If you're one of those clothes-and-make-up-wearing types, then I'd highly recommend checking out what she has to say. Similarly, there are some items on my list which others have done perfectly well without.

Now that we've got that disclaimer out of the way, let's get down to it. What is the stuff I use?

1. Hairbrush, and her friends the hairties- Messy hair works great for some images, but not all. For figure work in particular, being able to pull my hair up into a bun is quite useful. The hairbrush and a few hairties travel with me to every shoot. Hairties live on the handle of the hairbrush, instead of on my wrist where they would likely leave elastic marks. Which brings me to...

2. Loose clothing- This means no socks, no underwear, and nothing so tight-fitting that it will leave impressions in my skin when I take it off. I usually opt for jeans which are slightly too large for me and a tank top or tee-shirt.

3. Cards- Especially when sitting for drawing groups, I’ve found it to be quite useful to be able to hand out cards with my name, stats, and contact information. It communicates that you are serious about modeling, and it also makes it easier for people to contact you and hire you independently.

4. Modeling robe- Again, this one is mostly useful for drawing groups. While it doesn't strike many photographers as odd for me to remain nude during breaks, that is a major no-no for drawing groups. Some groups have robes on-hand for models, but not all do. Bringing my own robe means that I have something to easily throw on for breaks.

5. My car- Though I do occasionally travel by plane, much of my travel has been done by car. It allows me to easily reach artists who are way out yonder in the suburbs, and it allows me to stop by much smaller markets along the way. Anymore, I’ve found that small cities with next to no local nude models are great places to stop for a few days on my travels. Plus, my car is incredibly fuel efficient. It is because my car gets 40ish MPG that I can state that anywhere from Cheyenne to Denver is “local” to me without cringing.

6. Sunblock and bugspray- Part of being a nude model is making sure that your skin is in reasonably presentable condition. While I’ve had some faux pas moments along the way, I strive to make sure that my skin is all approximately the same non-red shade, and isn’t specked with mosquito bites.

7. The internet- Be it with my blackberry or my laptop, I strive to stay in touch with the world. If somebody needs to contact me on short notice, whether to hire me or to cancel on me, I want to know sooner rather than later. Coffeeshops have, at times, felt like a second home for me as I utilized their complimentary wireless to take care of business while traveling.

Again, this list is of the items that I have found indispensable in working as a freelance model. Those occupying other modeling niches, or with different travel styles, will have a different list. It takes some time to find your own groove, and what works best for you. Lists like this one, as well as the lists that others have made, can help you on your way as you find your rhythm.

Airport Camaraderie

I don't care for airports. By and large, I've found that they bring out the worst in people. To start with, you're pulling from a segment of the population that has a well-developed sense of entitlement. These are Big, Important People, with Big Important Places to Go and Things to Do. Airports take these people, process them assembly-line style through security, shuffle them into a holding area with crowded, uncomfortable seating, and then tell them that their flight is going to be late because of a thunderstorm, a broken part, a delayed flight crew, or because that's just the way the cookie crumbles. And no amount of self-importance can change that.

Hooo boy, that rarely goes over well. I've found airports to be permeated with a thick tension in the air, with everybody right on the verge of snapping. All it takes is a single catalyst to set off a nasty reaction.

On my way home from New York to Denver, there were more than a few catalysts. Nasty weather all along the east coast left travel a mess for many airports, including Newark, my point of departure. Flights were being delayed or outright canceled right and left, and folks were finding their travel plans effected by more than just a slight hiccup.

But shockingly, these repeated obstacles weren't met with hostility. The mood at gates B41-B48 was one of patient humor. Stranded travelers cracked jokes, helped one another with working around delays, even shared phone chargers. None of us were thrilled to be faced with the circumstances, but it was collectively recognized that a foul mood wasn't going to change anything. And so we banded together, and stuck it out with humor. After dozens upon dozens of flights over the course of my lifetime, it was the first truly pleasant and inspiring airport experience that I've ever had. So thank you, fellow travelers through Newark. It sure coulda been worse.